I struggle with patience – in fact, I would go so far as to say I can be an extremely impatient person at times. As soon as I have an idea, I need to explore it and implement it immediately, and of course, see results in return. My boyfriend and I differ greatly on this approach; as an engineer, he can be (painstakingly!) slow and methodical, whereas I am a ‘doer’, and I want to get things done!
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the life-changing epiphany I had experienced in the office – how my mood had significantly improved by just changing my attitude . Now that’s what I call success – barely having to do anything and already seeing results: win! Fast forward until this week however, and I’m realising that it’s one thing to change my perspective, it’s quite another to maintain that mindset!
Change takes time, and patience; breaking down habits that have been built over a lifetime cannot happen overnight.
I like to trust my gut instinct; it has led me on an interesting adventure over the last year as I have allowed myself to listen and act on my intuition. But my gut can become confused when other emotions are at play – anxiety in particular can seriously cloud my judgement.
When I feel I have solved a problem, that something has been ‘done’, it causes me significant anxiety to see it raise its head again, becoming ‘unsolved’ or ‘undone’. I feel disheartened, demotivated, and discouraged. My anxiety tries to convince my intuition that the emergency escape button needs to be pushed – action needs to be seen, something needs to be done!
Thankfully my patient boyfriend has been on hand while I’ve struggled with this reality, reminding me that putting boundaries in place is not an individual event. It’s not something that is ever ‘done’ that you can walk away from. In fact, the more you try to protect yourself and your interests, the more likely it is that people will try to push you further.
And so I am learning to be patient, reminding myself how amazing it feels when I do keep these boundaries in place, and trying to find a way to maintain that positive perspective.