Week 6 of Escape, and it involved a weekend session too, so I am absolutely drained. I am working part-time now so I am thankfully at home today recovering after an intense weekend, but I also feel the guilt and pressure that because I am not in the office I need to make the most of my time at home! Rest. I give myself permission to rest. Because change is hard, and it takes a lot out of us. Otherwise we would all have done it already.
On Tuesday night we looked at people who “Hustle”, i.e. those with drive and ambition to change their lives to identify the common characteristics – I felt so proud that I felt I am already demonstrating these behaviours through creating ToGetHer Further:
- Create Value: Don’t wait for someone to tell you what to do, just start doing something that is meaningful to you and will benefit other people too. (When ToGetHer further bubbled out of me just over a year ago I had no idea what I was going to do with it, it just felt important to start sharing our experiences more honestly!)
- Shine in Public: Share your work so other people know what you’re doing and can get involved. (After I first shared ToGetHer Further on Facebook my friends started contacting me to say “well if you’re interested in that, you might be interested in this too…” or “I know someone else who’s intersted in this…” But they will never know unless you share!)
- Build Authentic Relationships: People don’t like being sold to, or being manipulated – they smell bullshit very quickly! But if you are being your authentic self, focusing on something meaningful to you, which you care about, people are drawn to your passion. (Since creating ToGetHer Further I have made some wonderful connections and created collaborations that I know are leading to great future opportunities too!)
Over the weekend, we had sessions with Charly Cox and Rob Archer, looking at our relationships with fear and the other obstacles we have in following what we are truly passionate about. From the moment Charly started speaking I was just blown away by how much her words resonated with me. Here are just some of my key moments from the session:
- You can let go of what you have studied in the past, but hold on to why you did it – like studying law because I wanted to help people, but using that for ToGetHer Further instead of becoming a lawyer
- You can listen to what your heart, body, and gut instinct are telling you, and act on that, even if your head still isn’t sure what’s going on!
- Your head will try to save you by reminding you of all the potential catastrophic things that could happen, but try to listen and find the nub of the matter – if my head is afraid that I am leaving my job to run ToGetHer Further, and write, and help people, but doesn’t know what I will call myself, perhaps I’m looking for clarity and structure? So maybe if I make a list of all the things I do with ToGetHer Further – from interviewing women, to facilitating the Facebook group, to potential future collaborations with other amazing female-led organisations, then perhaps my head will calm down because I do know what I’m doing.
- It’s ok to “take your head off” sometimes – to give it a rest and let it switch off to allow yourself to tap into what your heart, body and gut instinct are saying.
- There’s no point in trying to fight fear as you just make it worse, but you can try to befriend these little saboteurs in your head that are operating from fear – put an arm around them, find out what’s really bothering them, and reassure them everything is going to be ok.
And it will be. Ok, I mean. I felt a weight lift after Charly’s session. I realised that I might not ever get full certainty of what ToGetHer Further is becoming – it evolves and grows with the community of members and readers who make it what it is! And I am learning and growing in myself along side it!
If you struggle with your relationship with fear, this Ted Talk by Michelle Poler may help – I found it so inspiring and uplifting:
But right now, I’m going to rest.